So living all by myself is fantastic. I love it. For as much stress and agony that last & brief roommate situation put me through, as it got me living by myself, it was totally worth it. It is so nice to be able to leave dishes in the sink and not feel guilty about it or be pissed at someone else who's left dishes in the sink for +2 days. Naps! I can actually nap when I come home after work and not worry about a roommate coming to bug me for silly little things! Cooking! I find that I'm actually cooking more since I don't have to work around four other people or wait for a burner or the oven to be free! And of course, da kitties. They have a lot more space to run, jump, play and fight. They have the "never ending water" faucet. They can be on the table or counters. There's so much less stress - for them, for me.
However, since living alone, I have noticed my loneliness a whole lot more. There is something to be said about the chatter and activity of other roommates that does provide a bit of company and reassurance. Not that I'd ever go back to living with roommates if I could help it! But I have noticed a greater void. That being said, I've actually been trying to make an effort to make some new friends. But how does a very shy/quiet (and somewhat anti-social) person make new friends? Craigslist of course! So it was probably two weeks ago that I posted an ad in the Platonic section of Craigslist. As anticipated, I did get a fair number of responses. However, a good number of those get dumped because even though my ad says I'm notlooking for a "hook-up" or "romantic connection" - that I'm in a happy and committed (albeit long distance) relationship, I still get those responses from married men looking for "discreet relationships". Or those who sound completely illiterate. Sorry - but I'd like my friends to be able to write in complete sentences and not sound like total idiots! Like this response: "HI SOUDN SINTERETSEING DO YOU HAVE PICTURES"
So out of maybe 20 or so replies, there were 3 that passed initial screening (all men, only 1 woman responded to my ad, but she lives out in Pleasenton). So, out of those 3 - one turned out to be a "transgender" guy. As much as I try to keep an open mind about things, I just don't think I could handle this person as a friend. (And when I say friend, I mean someone who I'd actually get together with on a frequent basis and do all those things I enjoy doing - like going to movies, eating out, shopping/window shopping,
hiking, mountain biking, ect.). With the 2nd guy, we swapped a few emails, exchanged pictures, and then never responded when I suggested that we get together. Go figure. Maybe I'm not "attractive" enough to be friends with. That's ok. I guess I have my own "standards" as well when picking my friends (you don't want to hang out with someone you're embarrassed to be seen with!). But it's not like I consider myself unattractive - I never have problems finding dates when I want one. But I don't know. There's lots of
links to pictures of me on my blog - you be the judge! And the third guy, we
actually got together for a movie last night. He lives in NY with his girlfriend but comes to the bay area frequently for business. So yeah, it still feels a little weird meeting guys via the internet with the sole purpose of developing a friendship only. Especially since I've done my fair share of internet dating - I still have this mindset of "potential future
boyfriend" judgement. Since college, I've managed an actual friendship with only one guy. But as we've only managed to hang out together once in the past 8 months (though we do chat online frequently), how much friend is that? (Again, I am using the frequency of getting together as my basis of friendships - I do understand that you can be & are friends with people you don't actually see on a regular basis - or even never in some cases - but since I'm bored and often lonely in my apartment, I need friends who I can actually get out and do things with). But yeah, back to my friend date last
night. Nice guy. Not freaky weird or anything. I wouldn't put him in my "dateable" category - but really, can only guys I'd consider friendships with be only guys I'd consider in my "dateable" category? I don't know. I mean, I could probably never get together with this guy again and feel like I'm not missing anything.
So yeah, that's what's on my mind.
