How I became such a pessimist, I don't know. But to follow on my previous
post, it has been a pretty crappy week here. But somehow I've made it to
Thursday. There must be some sort of weird time phenomenon that happens when
you get older - you're at work on a Monday watching the clock tick by ever
so slowly and you're wondering how you're ever going to survive the rest of
the week. Friday seems so far away. But before you know it, it's Thursday.
Somehow you've survived until Thursday. There's only two more hours til
quitting time and then it's Friday. And Fridays are a piece of cake. But
what happened to Tuesday and Wednesday? It seems like they barely even
existed now. And how did half of June go by without me hardly even noticing
it? Pretty soon summer will be gone and I'll have nothing to show for it!
So this morning the office manager called me into a meeting. There has been
a lot of drama with client appointments and rescheduling/shifting client
appointments because our senior partner attorney had to have some sort of
emergency surgery (nothing life threatening) and needed time at home to
recover. Anyhow, the office manager and I had a miscommunication regarding
one of the appointments (and thankfully another attorney was able to cover,
so it could have been worse than it actually was...) but she wanted to call
me in to make sure that there weren't any more "miscommunications". Beh,
whatever. A fifteen minute meeting with her will always turn into at least
an hour because she can never stay on topic. She then went on to ask me if I
was "happy" here at the firm. HTF am I supposed to respond to that?! There's
no way I can be honest. Because really, what I want to say, is "no, I hate
this job". Really, I do. I'm becoming to see that it's not a very good match
for me. She went on to give me "constructive criticism" that I need to be
more "outgoing" and "cheerful" and greet clients better. I guess one client
review came back saying that the reception area was "cold - and I don't mean
the temperature". Beh, whatever. See what I mean. I don't even care. I hate
this job and I don't care. I wish wish I didn't need the money that comes
from this job - that I could just quit with a clear conscious and find
something that's more suited for me. I guess at this point, I probably do
hate this job more that I hate searching for a new job. I searched to job
postings (good ol' Craigslist) yesterday and actually found one I'd be
interested in. I'm definitely motivated to send them my resume. I could go
on and on about why this is such an awful spot for me - but I think I've
done enough of that already. I just need to do something about it. And soon.
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